March 9, 2008

Welcome

So, ya, I decided to open my own blog. God knows why it took so long. I think I always wanted to, but just never had that push to do it. I think for a variety of reasons which I will get into. First a brief introduction of who I am.

Many of you know me already, infact, after a few years, some people know me on a personal level. For those of you who don't know me, I am, THE Holy Hyrax. I gave myself this name during the the banning of R' Slifkin's books (i.e. The Camel, Hare and the Hyrax). In hind site, I guess I could have chosen a tougher animal, like a hippo or a mongoose. Anyways, I am a BT. I had always been interested in Judaism particularly its history. I always wanted to keep shabbat and be more traditional. At around the age of 20, I went to some kiruv seminars and I fell hook, line and sinker. To make a long story short, I started developing doubts about the Torah and our entire history in general. I got married and the doubts grew. I eventually stoppd being religious for about two years and only came back to it after reading Godol Hador's blog. Quite the irony. I came back to a semi observant lifestyle (certainly not what it was before), but the doubts were still there and the more blogs I read, the worse it got. I grew angry but I never gave up that perhaps I would find some sort of answer to inspire in me some hope that perhaps there is something to all this.

Fast forward to 2008. Here I am, with my own blog. so then why did it take me so long to open my own blog? Well, I don't consider myself the "leader" type. I am usually at my most comfort level when someone else does the talking or deciding, and I follow in. Thats just my personality. I'm also a horrible writer, which also kept me from opening my own blog. Most people I know when to college, did a great deal of reading and have built up quite a vocabulary and ways to express certain ideas down. I never had that really. I went to school for graphic designing. So you will have to forgive me for when I perhaps repeat certain adjectives or other words. I see bloggers writing huge posts and I was quite often intimidated if I could ever get close to that sort of substance.

So for these, I decided to open a blog. I want to become a better writer. I want to be able to take chances and experience things I would normally not feel comfortable doing. Even if its something as trivial as a blog. I mean, I don't want to be on my death bad and regretting not opening up a blog. :P Just yesterday, the western regional director of AIPAC was at my shul talking about things we can do to help. Motze Shabbat, I emailed him that I want to do something.

The other reason and maybe the most important reason I opened up this blog, is because I believe I finally found that thing that inspires me, that perhaps there is something to this Judaism. Maybe its not all from God, but I don't think its all BS anymore. (I guess I didn't get GH'ed in the end). I will be talking about this, as well as the inherit difficulties I am having now with this new hashkafa. This blog will hopefully inspire me also to do my own reading and researching about things that interest me in Judaism (i.e. anything to do with history). I have been talking to S. lately about Shadal. Very interesting stuff. I really want to commit to learning more and sharing with you. If I make mistakes, gam ze tov. In fact, the more I make mistakes and you correct me, the more I will learn. Just be kind, I bruise easily. Believe it or not, I was talking to someone at shul and he said I should go back to school and get a masters or doctorate in Judaic Studies. I think, God willing, I may just do that. Why not? You only go around one time right?

Oh, there will most likely be some venting about what I feel is the greatest danger to Judaism today. I think most of you know my feelings on what that could be :)

I think you get the drift. This is going to be a place for me to express things on my mind,(Hmmm..like any other blog I guess) and maybe even post up some of the design stuff I am working on. :)

Anyways, welcome everyone. Feel free to email me at holyhyrax at gmail dot com.


PS- I don't believe in spell checker, so get used to it.